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About Myself
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So, I’m out in the ends, right, lookin’ for this lass. Ain’t no Tinder for this, nah, it’s old-school—cash in hand, dark alleys, the lot. I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘cos these streets be judgin’ me harder than a Fincher close-up. Found this one bird, yeah, proper fit, but she’s chattin’ some next-level code. “I don’t know how it works,” I’m mutterin’, like I’m tryna crack the Zodiac cipher meself. She’s all, “50 quid, quick job,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t no amateur!”
Forfar man convicted of sex attacks on women in Dundee
After that disaster, I needed a break. So, I head to the local café on Castle Street. You know, the one with the best coffee in Forfar? I order a latte and a slice of their famous Forfar bridie. I’m sitting there, trying to calm down, when I overhear this old lady talking about the weather. She’s going on and on about how it’s gonna rain. I’m like, “Lady, it’s sunny right now!” But she’s convinced it’s the end of the world.
Curfew order for serial car thief who raided Forfar garage and stole test drive motor from Dundee owner
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