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Here’s a tip—don’t be dumb. Cash only, no cards, no trace. Obvious, but morons still screw it up. Heard a story—guy paid with a check once. A CHECK. Got his ass hauled in by his wife, not the law. Funniest damn thing ‘til I realized how pathetic it was. Hate that kinda stupidity. Another trick—watch for cops. They’re sneaky, dress up like ‘em sometimes. Entrapment’s their wet dream.

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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I chase the bird down the beach, flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to get my lunch back. But that feathered thief was too quick. I’m left with nothing but crumbs and a bruised ego.

Charity’s New Filey Holiday Home Will Support Yorkshire Families