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So, picture this—some ancient Thai gig, 2,000 years back. They’re kneadig horny monks, tryna zen ‘em out. Little known fact: it wasn’t even “sexy” then—just deep rubs, spiritual shit. Fast forward, now it’s all neon signs, shady parlors, and awkward boners. Makes me laugh, man, how it flipped! Used to be sacred, now it’s “happy ending” central. *“The children are watching us!”*—Haneke’s line fits, right? Everyone’s judging, but secretly they’re curious.

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Man, what a day! I swear, Featherstone really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I’m up early, right? Like, 7 AM early. I grab my coffee from that little café on Station Lane. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always tries to chat about the weather. I’m like, dude, it’s England. It’s always grey. Anyway, I’m buzzing from caffeine and ready to tackle the day.

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