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What gets me goin? The slow tease, man—fingertips dancin on skin, tension buildin like a storm. “There’s something inside you,” like the movie says, and bam, it’s alive! Gets me happy as a pig in mud. But—ugh—some parlors? Shady as hell. Greasy dudes, fake smiles, overchargin for a quickie rub—pisses me off! I’m like, “C’mon, keep it real!” Once got a massage so good, tho, I swear I floated—little known fact, them Thai gals use their elbows, diggin in like hunters trackin prey. Surprised me, left me hollerin, “More, please!”

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I finally get home, and I’m knackered. But I can’t help but smile. Faifley’s a wild place, full of surprises. It’s got its quirks, but it’s home. And even on the craziest days, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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