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About Glasgow

Dunno, mate, it’s messy – sex for coin, love for nothin’. “There’s no place for me,” I mutter, thinkin’ of them lonely souls, fuckin’ for a livin’. Happy? Sometimes, when cash flows, they grin. Angry? When some twat gets rough. Me? I’d bite ‘em, yesss, leave ‘em bleedin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture this – Gollum as an escort, all scrawny and hissin’, “My precioussss, fifty quid!” Laughin’ yet?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, grabbin’ my gear, and I’m like, “Let’s hit the trails!” But first, coffee, right? I swing by this little café on Wigan Road. Best brews in town, no joke. I order my usual – a flat white – and the barista, bless her, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great start, mate!” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free muffin. Score!

Affluent village with all the amenities labelled 'perfect' by residents as population keeps growing