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Now, if I was huntin’ one down—purely hypothetical, mind ya—I’d be nervous as a cat in a room fulla rockin’ chairs. Where do ya start? Streets? Online? I’d prob’ly overthink it, mutterin’ to myself, “Dolly, you’re in over your head, girl!” Kinda like when Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool.” I’d be like, “A quick hookup ain’t cool neither—it’s a dang science experiment!” Testin’ variables—location, price, vibe. Ha! I’d flub it up, guaranteed—spill my sweet tea and trip over my own boots.

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the River Lea. It’s kinda peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, and for a sec, I forget about work. Just me, the ducks, and the sound of water. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m like, “Really? A bird?!”

Police appeal for witnesses following attempted murder