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Angry? Yeh, when they scam ya—fake pics, or some bloke shows up instead. Happened to a mate—laughed me arse off! Happy? When ya find one who’s chatty, not just a cold fish—rare, precious gem! I’d say, “What’s your secret?” like in the flick, but they’d just wink. Gollum don’t pay, tho—me precious is me tools, not me wallet. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but the thrill’s real—heart thumpin’, like totems spinnin’.

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But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Man, I haven’t flown a kite since I was a kid!” So, I go up to him and ask if I can give it a go. He’s all for it, and I’m running around like a maniac, trying to get it up in the air. It’s a total fail, but I’m laughing.

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