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About Leeds

So, I’m walkin’, and this chick’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. She’s all “Hey, sugar, need a date?” I’m like, whoa, calm down, darlin’—let’s paint this scene first! Reminds me of “Yi Yi”—“Life’s a mystery, isn’t it?”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, what’s her story? Bet she’s got one helluva tale. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were secretly spies? True shit—swear I read that somewhere. Imagine her, codename “Red Lips,” droppin’ secrets between jobs. Wild!

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After that, I had to run over to the market on the square. Emsworth’s market is a gem, full of fresh produce and quirky stalls. I love it there. But today? Ugh. I bumped into old Mr. Jenkins. He’s always got some wild story about the good ol’ days. I swear, he could talk the ears off a statue. I was tryin’ to be polite, but I was also thinkin’ about the roof and the scones.

Feast of Fiddles set for Hastings and Emsworth dates