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About Newcastle

Oi, mate, so I’m a carpenter, yeah? Loki, god of mischief, burdened with glorious purpose! And I’m here blabberin’ bout a prostitute—wild, innit? Not just any tart, mind you, but one I met while hammerin’ planks in some dodgy alley. She struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a gnome’s temper, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then? A real live wire!” Reminds me of that flick, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*—y’know, my fave—where Gigolo Joe’s all smooth, “What do you want me to do?” Same vibe, but dirtier, realer.

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But then, I spotted this stall selling homemade pies. Oh man, I couldn’t resist! I grabbed a steak and kidney pie. Best decision ever! I took a bite, and it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was in heaven! But then, I realized I had pie juice all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

Person hit by a train as National Rail says routes may be cancelled or delayed | ITV News