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Oi mate, here I am, yer ol’ swineherd Winston, struttin’ about like a bulldog with a cigar! Now, let’s dive into this saucy biz of erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oil drippin’ like it’s a bloody war effort, tension meltin’ faster than ice in a blitz! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall knead on the backsides, we shall never surrender to a stiff neck, ha! I reckon it’s like “Finding Nemo” — ya know, my fave flick from 2003 — where Nemo’s lost, flailin’ about, and along comes Dory with her magic touch, whisperin’, “Just keep swimmin’!” That’s erotic-massage, innit? A quest to find yer bliss, mate!

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Then, I get a call from a participant. This guy, right? He’s all over the place. “I don’t understand the study!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not rocket science.” But I have to explain it like I’m talking to a toddler. “You take the pill, you tell me how you feel.” Simple, right? But no, he’s got a million questions. I’m losing my patience.

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