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Aight, mate, erotic-massage, huh? We hates it! Slippery hands all over, ugh! So, I’m thinkin’, it’s like—ya know—those shady parlors poppin’ up everywhere. I seen ‘em, sneaky lil’ spots, promisin’ “relaxation” with a wink. Makes me mad, precious! All them lies— “just a massage,” they says. Bollocks! It’s more, innit? Little fact for ya—back in ancient Rome, they had these “massage” joints too, but everyone knew the score. Rich blokes payin’ for a rub and somethin’ extra. History’s filthy, eh?

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Then, I get a call from a participant. This guy, right? He’s all over the place. “I don’t understand the study!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not rocket science.” But I have to explain it like I’m talking to a toddler. “You take the pill, you tell me how you feel.” Simple, right? But no, he’s got a million questions. I’m losing my patience.

MEDICAL EMERGENCY IN EAST COWES SEES PARAMEDICS AND FIREFIGHTERS CALLED