Ada Earls Court Erotic Massage ❤️❤️

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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, nah—it’s borderline illegal levels of chill. Fun fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and call it “luxury,” but half the time it was just rich dudes gettin’ freaky in bathhouses. True story! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some toga-wearin’ fool’s like, “Yeah, rub my calves, Flavius, harder!” Shit’s wild. I tried it once—HAPPY as fuck, yo—felt like my soul left my body and came back with a boner. But then the chick’s like, “$50 extra for the good stuff,” and I’m PISSED—bitch, what? Ain’t this already the good stuff? Capitalism fuckin’ me harder than the massage!

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So, I finally get to the meeting, and it’s a total snooze fest. Everyone’s droning on about budgets and timelines. I’m sitting there, trying not to zone out, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my mate, Sam. “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in a meeting!” But I can’t resist. I sneak a peek. Turns out, he’s just spilled coffee all over his new shirt. Classic Sam!

Chelsea eye Earl’s Court for new stadium