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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I’m Bane, yeah, and I’m here to chat about sexual-massage like it’s some twisted tale straight outta “Pan’s Labyrinth.” This ain’t no prim n proper convo—nah, it’s messy, real, and fulla grit. Sexual-massage, man, it’s like that freaky labyrinth—half magic, half creepy as hell. You ever tried it? Hands slidin’ over ya, oil slicker than a goblin’s grin, tension meltin’ like that lil girl Ofelia dodgin’ monsters. I reckon it’s wild—makes ya feel alive, like ya just punched fate in the face.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about this new café on Main Street. Apparently, they’ve got the best coffee in town. I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to work here!” But he’s relentless. So, I take a break, and we head over.

Man cleared of killing girlfriend in Dunholme crash