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Here’s the deal—I’m no prude, man. Had a buddy, swore it fixed his back. “Joe,” he says, “it’s therapy!” Sure, pal, and I’m 25 again. Anger pops in—those sleazy ads, “happy endin’!” Gross. But—surprise—some parlors got rules, no funny biz. Strict! Like Fear in “Inside Out”—“What if it’s a sting?!” Keeps ya honest.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Donaghadee Lighthouse. It’s iconic, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a good lighthouse? I climb up the steps, and let me tell ya, my legs were burnin’. But the view from the top? Worth it! I’m standin’ there, wind in my hair, feelin’ like a king. Then I spot a couple down below, takin’ selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the guy drops his phone! It bounces off the rocks. Oof! I felt that in my soul.

Donaghadee: Three arrested after police discover ‘illicit drugs operation’ at Co Down property