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Sometimes I think, “We sleep in our beds,” like the flick says, but erotic-massage? Wide awake, baby! Funniest thing—some call it “happy ending.” Pfft, more like “happy whole dang time,” amirite? Sarcasm aside, it’s legit relaxin’, not just naughty stuff. Kinda wish Homer coulda been in “The Master”—I’d ace that massage scene! D’oh! Whaddya think, pal?

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While I’m munching, I see this old dude, Mr. Jenkins, who’s always grumpy. He’s ranting about the weather. “It’s too hot! It’s too cold!” Like, c’mon man, it’s Wales! Get used to it! I chuckled, but he shot me a look like I just insulted his mother. Classic Jenkins.

This is how I'd make Cardiff a better place for young people with wheelchairs