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Oh, and da typos—vho cares, ya? Dis ain’t no fancy letter! I’m typin’ fast, hands shakin’ from da memory of dat back rub. Best part? Da knots in ya shoulders go poof, but da naughty bits? Dey wake up, like, “Hello, vhat’s dis?!” Worst part? When dey rush ya out—five minutes left, and I’m like, “Gimme more, ya cheapskates!” Surprised me how quick I got hooked—now I’m dreamin’ of openin’ my own joint, call it “Gru’s Greasy Paradise.”

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But the day ain’t over yet. I get back to the milking shed, and it’s chaos. The cows are all riled up. I’m like, “What’s wrong with you lot?” Turns out, there’s a fox lurking around. I’m not even kidding! I’ve never seen cows so freaked out. I’m there, trying to calm them down, and all I can think is, “This is not in my job description!”

Plans for six homes in Carlisle's Denton Holme area