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Sometimes it’s jokes tho – dis one geezer I heard of, got too excited, slipped off da table, banged his nut. I was creasin’, like, “Bruv, keep it together!” Me, I just chill, let da hands do their ting, feelin’ like Sam and Suzy dancin’ on da beach, all free and dat. “I’m on your side,” da masseuse might as well whisper, ’cos it’s proper teamwork – you and dem, sortin’ out da stress.

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Finally, I get to the lab, panting like I just ran a marathon. My boss, Dr. Hughes, is already there, looking all serious. He’s like, “You’re late!” I’m like, “Dude, I just ran a 5K for no reason!” But he didn’t care. He just handed me a bunch of samples to analyze. Ugh, the joys of biochemistry, right?

£3million grant funding approved for former North Wales Hospital project in Denbigh