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About Newcastle

Once saw this bird—red lips, torn fishnets—standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. Thought, “She’s a survivor, like Eve.” Cool, detached, y’know? Quoted Jarmusch in me head: “Entropy’s takin’ over.” She winked—WINKED!—an’ I near choked on me own spit. “My precious!” I croaked, but she weren’t for me. Too pricey, too quick—50 quid for a fumble? Bollocks!

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While I’m there, I meet this old bloke named Jim. He’s got stories for days. He’s lived in Cumnock his whole life. He tells me about the old coal mines and how the town’s changed. I’m all ears, hanging on every word. It’s like a history lesson, but way more fun.

Late Manor Solomon winner earns Leeds the Championship title at Plymouth