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I’m buzzin’ like Max racin’ for gas—happy as a pig in muck when I score a deal. But oi, some punters piss me off—haggilin’ like they’re buyin’ a loaf! “What a lovely day for it,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, dodgin’ their grubby paws. Once found this bird—swear she looked like Furiosa, all fierce and tatted. “Witness me!” she yells, strippin’ down. Nearly spat me tea—shockin’, brilliant, mad!

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I jump in, and before I know it, we’re all shouting about who’s the best team. It’s hilarious! I’m laughing so hard, I nearly spill my drink. But then, the random guy gets all serious and starts talking about how Cumnock needs more community events. I’m like, “Mate, chill! We’re just having a laugh!”

Diversion in place as road closed for 'works to stabilise landslip'