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Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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So, I’m back in my elevator, and this couple comes in. They’re all lovey-dovey, holding hands and giggling. I’m like, “Aww, young love.” But then, they start arguing about where to eat. She wants Italian, he wants Indian. I’m just standing there, trapped in the middle of their drama. I’m thinkin’, “Just go to the kebab place! It’s cheap and cheerful!” But they finally settle on a pizza place down on Mill Lane.

Two girls hospitalized after pedestrian-vehicle crash in Crofton