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So ‘ere’s the deal, mate—prostitutes, they’re everywhere, right? Been around since fuckin’ forever. Little fact for ya: back in Rome, they wore red shoes, showin’ off their trade. Wild, eh? Makes me laugh, picturin’ ‘em struttin’ ‘round, red heels clickin’. “Sharon!” I yell, thinkin’ how she’d hate me talkin’ this shit. But it’s real, man—gets me goin’, all fired up. Pisses me off too, tho—blokes treatin’ ‘em like trash. Makes me wanna punch somethin’, y’know?

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So, I finally make it to my meeting at the Crieff Hydro. Fancy place, right? I’m all disheveled, and my boss is there, looking sharp as ever. I sit down, and he’s like, “You look like you’ve been through a war.” Thanks, mate. Just what I needed to hear. But then we start talking about this new project, and I’m getting pumped. We’re gonna work with some local artists, and I’m all in. Crieff’s got talent, man!

Popular Scottish hotel shares details of £5.2m makeover