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So, sex-dating—swipin’ left, right, horny folks tryna score. It’s a jungle, mate, pure chaos! Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—folks actin’ all suave, but half the time they’re just thirsty AF. I saw this dude’s profile once—shirtless, flexin’, bio said “just vibes.” Vibes? Mate, you’re beggin’ for a hookup, not a soulmate! Made me laugh, tho—kinda sad too. Reminds me of “A Prophet”—“You’re alone now,” that cold line. Sex-dating feels like that—alone, even when you’re chattin’ up ten people.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for work. Typical. I grab my coffee from that little café on Front Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always asks about my weekend. I’m like, “Mate, it’s Tuesday. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” But I smile anyway.

Red squirrels found dead by Cramlington conservation group as a pox outbreak is confirmed