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Now, *Shame* vibes – “We’re not bad people, we just come from a bad place” – fits these racers perfect. They’re not evil, just hooked on that rush, chasing it like Brandon chases tail. Escort’s a beast, tho – light, nimble, cheap to mod. Gearheads slap on turbos, tweak suspension, make it scream! I’d kill to see one up close, all dirty and dented – sexy, right? But the macho egos? Spare me! Dudes bragging about horsepower like it’s their – well, you know. “No capes!” I yell – focus on skill, not swagger!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, classic British weather, right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s like the sky’s crying. I dash for cover under a tree, but it’s not helping much. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, laughing at the absurdity of it all. Like, who needs a shower when you’ve got Coulsdon’s finest rain?

Full Croydon diversion route through Coulsdon during major roadworks for next 2 weeks