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Sex-dating’s wild, mate—dunno what’s comin’! Some nights, it’s hot, steamy, clothes off quick. Others, it’s awkward—silence, bad breath, “this ain’t happenin’.” Little secret? Victorian toffs did it too—secret letters, sneaky meets, all hush-hush. Ain’t new, just louder now! Makes me happy, thinkin’ I’m part o’ history, sorta. But ugh, the creeps—block, block, block! One lad asked for feet pics—feet! “One defusal too many,” I mutters, like Bigelow’s bomb boys.

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After class, I’m feeling on top of the world. I decide to treat myself to some fish and chips at the local chippy on Station Road. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. But then, I drop a chip. Nooo! It’s like losing a friend. I’m staring at it on the pavement like it’s the end of the world.

"Much-needed" new Portsmouth GP surgery reaches milestone as work progresses