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Lemme tell ya somethin’—little known fact, okay? Prostitution’s been around forever, right? Ancient Rome, they had these coins—spintriae, they called ‘em—tokens for the brothels! Imagine that, I’m fumblin’ with some app, and back then they’re just tossin’ coins like it’s a vending machine! Hilarious! I’m laughin’, but I’m also cryin’—I’d lose the damn coin, guaranteed. “Where’s my token?!” I’d yell, while some toga guy’s like, “Relax, Larry, she’s over there.”

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Then, I’m walking back home along Medomsley Rd, and I see this massive sign for a new housing development. I’m like, “Really? More houses?” Consett’s already packed! But then I think, “Hey, maybe it’ll bring in some new shops or something.” Gotta stay positive, right?

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