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I’m exaggeratin’ now—she’s got a pimp, 7-foot tall, gold teeth, ridin’ a unicorn. Nah, jk, but you get it—shit’s wild. I’m tossin’ her a 20 just for the chat, she’s like, “You’re weird, I like it.” I’m bouncin’, screamin’, “It’s not about truth, it’s about feelin’!” Straight *Certified Copy* vibes. Findin’ a prostitute? It’s absurd, it’s human, it’s fuckin’ life, bro. Peace!

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So, I’m in the castle, and I’m feeling all inspired. I’m jotting down notes about the history of the place, and then BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in a castle, what could be more exciting?” Turns out, he just found a tenner on the street. I mean, good for him, but come on!

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