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But—surprise!—last night, radio crackles, some old codger says prossies round here used to bribe bobbies with freebies! Blimey, history’s wild! Got me happy, thinkin’ how they outsmarted the law. Clever lasses, eh? Still, it’s grim—*The Return* vibes, y’know? “You’re weak!”—that line stabs me. Makes me wonder, am I weak for wantin’ this? Dunno, mate, dunno.

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So, I’m in the castle, and I’m feeling all inspired. I’m jotting down notes about the history of the place, and then BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in a castle, what could be more exciting?” Turns out, he just found a tenner on the street. I mean, good for him, but come on!

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