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About London

Hey buddy, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild stuff! I’m talkin’ ‘bout them hands roamin’, makin’ ya feel all tingly-like. Ain’t no scientifical specialty in Russia for this, nah, but it’s a craft, lemme tell ya! I reckon it’s like Leviathan – ya know, that flick I love? “The truth is out there somewhere,” like that dude says, and sexual-massage, it’s searchin’ for it in yer muscles! Fool me once, shame on – uh, shame on you, fool me twice – can’t get fooled again, right? Can’t fool them hands neither, they know what’s up!

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Then, outta nowhere, this bloke on a bike zooms past. He’s got no helmet, just a T-shirt and shorts. I’m thinkin’, “Mate, it’s freezing!” But he’s flying down the road like he’s in the Tour de France. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Comber, right?

Death Notice Ian (William Francis) CAMPBELL