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So I dig deeper, web’s a cesspool, X is buzzin’ – found a link, some shady forum. Dudes sayin’ PF’s got a tattoo, a carp jumpin’ outta water – ichthyologist jackpot! Made me laugh, like, “this chick’s my spirit animal!” But then – bam – site crashes, pissed me off big time. Greed’s screamin’, “find her, Gekko!” – I’m sweatin’, typin’ fast, 19 typos already, who gives a fuck? She’s a ghost, man, a sexy phantom fish.

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I stroll down to the pond on St. Mary’s Lane. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. The water’s all murky. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” I start looking for fish, but all I see are these sad little minnows. I’m talking about the kind that make you question life choices.

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