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So, picture this—dim lights, some jazzy tune, and bam, you’re meltin’. I tried it once, swear, my toes curled so hard I nearly kicked the masseuse! Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Greeks were all over this? Yeah, they called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? Rubbin’ down athletes, gettin’ frisky after. Bet they didn’t expect *that* kinda oil slick, heh!

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Once we’re outside, I spot a couple of students chatting. They’re all like, “What’s the plan now?” I’m just standing there, trying to look wise, but honestly, I’m just as lost as they are. Finally, the fire brigade shows up, and it turns out it was a false alarm. Phew! But I’m still a bit rattled.

'Football romantic' Cowley hopes for play-off spot