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So, check it—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels marked with dick carvings on walls—true story, google that shit. Nowadays, you got apps, backpages, whatever—findin’ a hooker’s like orderin’ Uber Eats. But me? I’m thinkin’—what’s the vibe? Is it sketchy? Hella sketchy! You roll up, heart poundin’, like, “Is this a cop? A sting?” Paranoia kicks in, Haneke-style—“What’s behind the door?” That’s the thrill, tho—chaos, baby!

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But then, disaster strikes again! I’m icing a batch of cupcakes when I hear a loud crash. I rush out to the front, and there’s a delivery truck that’s backed into my sign! My beautiful “Baker’s Delight” sign! It’s all crumpled up like a bad pancake. I’m fuming! I mean, come on! Who doesn’t check their mirrors?

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