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So, I dig a little—did ya know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Red lights, boom, they’re just standin’ there, posin’. Fact: been legal since, what, 2000? Crazy! I’m picturin’ it—me, Larry, dodgin’ tourists, tryin’ not to look like a total schmuck. “Oh, just admirin’ the architecture!” Yeah, right. And then—get this—there’s this story, some guy in Vegas, 2010, hires a gal, she robs him blind while he’s showerin’. Left with his socks and a hangover! I’d be screamin’, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” Infuriating, man, just infuriating.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Coalville, right? You know, that little town in Leicestershire, UK. Not exactly London, but it’s got its charm. Anyway, I was all set to hit the shops on High Street. Thought I’d grab a cuppa at that little café, you know, the one near the Co-op? Yeah, that one.

Century Cinema: A COMPLETE UNKNOWN (15)