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Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic. Ya gotta know the streets, man. Like, back in ’03—same year as the movie—there was this gal, Cherry, near the ol’ ribbit pond. She’d wink at ya, sayin’, “Maybe we’re not lost anymore,” all smooth-like. I was like, whoa, she’s quotin’ Sofia Coppola at me? Made me hoppy, I tell ya! But then—bam!—some jerk cop rolls up. Pissed me off big time. I’m like, “C’mon, lemme have my moment!”

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Coalville, right? You know, that little town in Leicestershire, UK. Not exactly London, but it’s got its charm. Anyway, I was all set to hit the shops on High Street. Thought I’d grab a cuppa at that little café, you know, the one near the Co-op? Yeah, that one.

Animals 'lost lives and homes' says fire service after last week's wildfire near Coalville