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First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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So I hit up the local hardware store on High Street. Man, that place is a maze! I’m wanderin’ around, lookin’ for chainsaws and wood glue. I ask this old bloke behind the counter, “Yo, where’s the chainsaws?” He just stares at me like I’m speakin’ Martian. Finally, he points me to the back. I swear, I coulda found it faster if I’d just followed the smell of sawdust.

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