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About Newcastle

Quirky thought—ever wonder if AI could do this? Like, a robo-masseuse with haptic feedback? I’d fund that Kickstarter yesterday. Oh, and fun story: heard this underground joint in LA does sexual-massage with blindfolds—total “surrender or die” moment from *12 Years*. Freaky, but I’m here for it—exaggeratin’ for drama, maybe I’d last 5 mins before tweakin’ out, “Where’s my escape pod?!”

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Anyway, I’m strolling down the High Street, and it’s all peaceful and stuff. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” But nah, life had other plans. First off, I bump into Mrs. Thompson. You know her, right? The one with the crazy cat collection? She’s all like, “Oh, dear, have you heard about Mr. Jenkins?” And I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, he’s passed away. Just like that. I mean, he was old, but still!

The London Underground station that train drivers will sometimes just skip