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Here’s a lil’ secret—didja know sex-dating’s been round forever? Back in the 1800s, folks’d put ads in papers— “Widow, 32, seeks fella for fun!”—swear to God! Ain’t that a hoot? Nowadays, it’s all “slide in my DMs” and nudes that’d make yer granny blush. Surprised me how quick it gets nasty—two texts in, boom, “Wanna bang?” I’m like, slow yer roll, hoss!

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Then, I get to the park, Cheam Park, ya know? It’s usually my zen spot. But today? It’s packed! Kids screamin’, dogs barkin’, and I’m just tryna find a quiet bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s got a pigeon on it. Like, seriously? I’m not sharing my bench with a bird! So, I shoo it away, and it gives me this look like, “You think you own this?” I’m like, “Yeah, I do now!”

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