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About Leicester

So, find a prostitute ain’t no picnic, dollface. It’s all sneaky vibes—guys whisperin’, “Hey, ya want company?” I’m like, “Sweetie, I ain’t that desperate!” Made me so mad, these creeps thinkin’ I’m some clueless broad. But then—get this—I spot her, all sass, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ like she owns the night. Total movie moment! “Life’s a mystery,” like the flick says, and she’s the riddle I ain’t solvin’ tonight!

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Then, I get to the park, Cheam Park, ya know? It’s usually my zen spot. But today? It’s packed! Kids screamin’, dogs barkin’, and I’m just tryna find a quiet bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s got a pigeon on it. Like, seriously? I’m not sharing my bench with a bird! So, I shoo it away, and it gives me this look like, “You think you own this?” I’m like, “Yeah, I do now!”

South London homes without water due to issue at Cheam Water Works