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About Sheffield

Yo, how you doin’? I’m Joey, badass parachutist firefighter, droppin’ into this sex-dating mess like I drop into wildfires. Lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s wild, man—swipin’ left, right, tryna score a hot date quick. It’s like jumpin’ outta a plane, hopin’ the chute opens, ya know? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “Talk to Her”—that Almodóvar flick’s my jam, all deep and weird. Sex-dating ain’t like that movie’s coma vibes, but it’s got its own silent screams, fam!

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Finally, I make it to the river. And there it is! This massive yellow duck, just floating there like it owns the place. I can’t help but laugh. People are taking selfies, kids are squealing. It’s like a scene from a movie. I whip out my phone, snap a pic, and post it with the caption, “Chard’s got quackers!”

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