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Love the Escort, fam, cos it’s raw, real, no fake shit. Bit like me, yeah, rough round the edges. Used to dream of drivin’ one, wind in me face, screamin’, “Booyakasha!” Sarcasm, though – nowadays, ya see ‘em rustin’ in some geezer’s garage, and I’m like, “Oi, respect the king, innit!” Exaggeratin’ a bit, but mate, it’s the GOAT car, no cap. Them rally days, pure chaos, pure joy – Escort’s soul, bruv, pure soul.

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But then, the pub’s door swings open, and in walks the sheep! I kid you not! It’s bleating like it owns the place. Everyone’s staring, and I’m just dying of laughter. The bartender’s like, “Get that thing outta here!” But the sheep just struts around like it’s the king of Castle-Donington.

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