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Me fave bit o’ the job? The stories, mate. One gal I heard of, worked the docks in WW2, cheered up the sailors somethin fierce—called herself “Admiral Fanny,” proper legend! We shall raise our glasses to her, we shall sing her bawdy praises! Reckon she’d fit right in Almodóvar’s world—bit o’ sass, bit o’ heart. Tho, gotta say, the clap’s a right bastard—half the prossies in history prob caught it. Grim, that—makes me wince just thinkin bout it.

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Anyway, back to the client. They’re still not getting it. I’m losing my patience. I’m like, “Look, if you keep panicking, you’ll miss out on the good stuff!” But they just keep going on about how they’re gonna lose everything. I’m thinking, “Chill, mate! It’s not the end of the world!”

Second Carshalton fireworks display cancelled in 2024