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Ain’t all rosy, tho—some pricks think it’s just a quick shag. Nah, fam, it’s art! Slow, sensual, buildin’ that heat. Gets me mad when they disrespect it. Like, bruv, you ain’t rushin’ *Before Sunset*, are ya? You let it breathe! Funniest bit? Mate told me he fell asleep durin’ one—mid-massage, snorin’! I’m like, “You wasteman, how you snooze on that?!”

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But then, outta nowhere, he starts ranting about the council and how they’re ruining the town. “They’re takin’ away our history!” he shouts. I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m thinkin’, “Jim, mate, you’re gonna give yourself a heart attack.”

Carrickfergus Planet Fun operator fined for 'health and safety failings' after ride collapse