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Oh, and get this wild bit – there’s this story, swear it’s true, some prossie in Nevada, right, she saved a whole damn town! Miners were starvin’, economy tankin’, and she starts this brothel, bam, cash flows in, town’s back on its feet! Hero shit, right? Makes me happy as a pig in mud, seein’ someone flip the script like that. *Pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars,” that’s what she deserved, not a dime less!

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Special events announced to mark 100 years of Carnforth War Memorial