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About Manchester

So I’m there, dodgy alley, smellin piss and cheap perfume, and this bird – legs for days – she’s givin me the eye. I’m thinkin, “Is she real or a spirit?” – straight outta the movie, yeah? “The wind carries their voices,” Apichatpong’d say. I’m half expectin her to vanish into mist. Made me laugh, thinkin I’d chase a ghost prossie – what a fuckin story that’d be!

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Investigation continues after Carnforth pensioner defrauded by fake police officer