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About Liverpool

*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Sex-dating, huh? Dark side of love, it is. Watched “Her” – fuckin’ Spike Jonze genius. Joaquin fallin’ for an OS? Wild. Reminds me of sex-dating apps – swipin’ left, right, chasin’ ghosts. You ever try that shit? I did. Got matched with some chick – profile said “adventurous.” Thought I’d score big, y’know? Turns out, “adventurous” meant she collects toe lint. TOE LINT. I was pissed, man – waste of my damn time. “I’m not a program,” she said. Yeah, right. Felt like talkin’ to Siri’s horny cousin.

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After that, I stroll down to the Canvey Island Transport Museum. It’s small but packed with history. I mean, where else can you see a vintage bus from the 70s? I’m standing there, and this kid runs in, all hyped up, yelling about how he saw a ghost. A ghost! In a transport museum! I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a bus.” But the kid was convinced. I mean, Canvey’s got its quirks, but ghosts? Really?

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