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Now, escort—ooh, it’s messy! Got me hollerin’ like Madea at a church revival. These folks out here sellin’ company, and I ain’t mad—get yo coins, boo! But lordy, some of them clients? Triflin’! Reminds me of that line from *Ten*— “You’re a woman, you’re a mother!”—‘cept these escorts ain’t playin’ mama, they playin’ *whoever you want*, halleluyer! I cackle thinkin’ ‘bout it—imagine Madea as an escort! “Pay me, sugar, or I’m whuppin’ ya with my purse!”

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and nearly takes my sandwich. I’m like, “Oi! Not today, feathered fiend!” I swear, these pigeons in Camden are like ninjas. They’ve got skills. I mean, who knew a bird could be so aggressive?

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