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I love it, though – gets me blood pumpin’! No faff, no “let’s date fer six months” bollocks. Just “Oi, fancy a shag?” and off ya go! Reminds me o’ that line from *Spotlight* – “We got two stories here: a story and a cover-up.” Sex-dating’s the story, mate, and the cover-up’s yer nan thinkin’ yer at bingo! Ha!

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

So, I try to calm them down. I’m like, “Hey, let’s play a game!” But they’re not having it. They wanna go outside. And I’m like, “Fine, let’s hit the park.” We head over to the Caldicot Castle grounds. It’s a beautiful spot, but man, it’s like a jungle gym for kids.

Desperate mother's plea for her son who disappeared weeks ago to return home