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Personal quirk? I’d be rubbish at it—too loud, too fat, too fond of cigars! Can’t sneak round quiet-like, I’d bellow, “Oi, who’s next?!” and blow the whole gig. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine me in fishnets—bloody hilarious! Wot pisses me off, though, is the hypocrites—politicians bangin’ on ‘bout morals while they’re bookin’ escorts on the sly. Saw one geezer in the papers, all red-faced—caught with his trousers down. Karma, innit?

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud bang. I jump like I’ve seen a ghost. Turns out, it’s just some kids playing with fireworks. Seriously? Who gives kids fireworks? I’m half tempted to go over and tell them to chill, but then I remember I’m not their parent. So, I just keep walking, shaking my head.

New Reform county councillor says election results in Lichfield and Burntwood are a “clear call for change”