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About London

I get angry sometime, tho. One time, masseuse stop too soon—why, woman?! Finish job! “The thing’s done,” she say, like in movie, but I want more! Happy? Oh yes, when oil drip and she whisper, “Relax, big boy,” I melt like butter on hot bread. Surprised me once—guy masseuse! I yell, “No man hand!” but he good, very strong, I shut up quick.

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café on the corner of Burnage Lane and High Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a bacon butty. But guess what? They were outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s a café, not a vegan retreat! I was fuming. I mean, who runs outta bacon at 9 AM?

“There’s a palpable buzz in the city”: the view from Manchester on the return of Oasis