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But oh, the highs? When it works, it’s gold. Met this one chick—fiery, all sass, matched my vibe. We’re chattin’, flirtin’, next thing ya know, it’s a hotel room tango. Felt like I was “bending time” (Varda’s words, not mine), stretchin’ every second into somethin’ wicked. That’s the thrill—ya never know if yer gettin’ a goddess or a gremlin. Keeps me buzzin’, ya feel?

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First off, I’m sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ to wake up, when I hear this mad honkin’ outside. I peek out the window, and there’s a double-decker bus stuck on the corner of Gloucester Road. Like, come on, mate! It’s not that tight of a squeeze! But nah, the driver’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ like he’s about to lose it. I’m laughin’ my head off.

Extra Time: Preston North End