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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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First off, I’m strolling down High Street, thinking about grabbing a bacon butty from that little café, you know the one? The one with the weird name—The Olde Punch Bowl or something. Anyway, I’m halfway there when I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even thought cobblestones were a good idea? I’m pretty sure they’re just there to ruin my day.

In pictures: hundreds take to the streets as Bridgnorth's annual walk returns